The end is in sight

It is almost the end of the quarter! Yeah! Only one more paper to finish up and 3 days of classes and this puppy is done! It is exciting to be 2/3 of the way through seminary, but a little scary as well. I have started to feel anxious about GOEs, ordinations, and finding work. I am also sad about losing some friends that I have grown close to over the last two years. In my first year, when the seniors graduated, though I liked many of them, I spent the whole year knowing they were leaving. I never really got very close to them because I didn't have any classes with them. This year, I have had classes with the senior class, I have spent the last two years with them, I have worked with them on group projects, plunge and worship services. I have learned a great deal from many of them and been personally enriched by my relationships with them. I will miss them all very much.
I will also miss my own class this summer. Though we have spent the last two years in close contact with each other, and like to complain that we are sick of each other, the truth is that I will miss them greatly. We have been taking fewer and fewer classes together and it feels like a slow pulling apart of a family. I have no idea what I am going to feel like next year. Very sad, I am sure. It feels very disingenous to smile when someone says to you, "don't worry, we'll stay in touch." Especially knowing that, most probably, that isn't true. People get busy with their lives, with their work, and it just never happens. Oh well, that is how life changes and cycles.
My wish for this year's graduating seniors is that they all find meaningful paths of minstry in Christ's church that enrich them and allows them, in turn, to enrich the church. They all have so much to give that it makes me grateful to see them taking the difficult path of following Christ's lead. God bless you all and grant you peace in all that you do. Amen.

Candidacy! Woo Hoo!

Well, it's been 5 years, 3 months, and 1 day since I started down this particular path of God's calling, and just received my letter of Candidacy from the Bishop. As of April 24, 2007, I am officially a Candidate for Holy Orders in the Episcopal Diocese of Chicago! Hallelujah!
It's a weird feeling to finally reach this point. I feel like I should feel different, or look different, or act differently. It feels like there should be more of a signification to this milestone. The fact is that I got a short pleasant letter from the Bishop's office informing me of my candidacy. It really doesn't change anything...at least not anything blatantly apparent to me. When I became a postulant, they let me attend seminary. Now that I am a candidate, nothing new really occurs.
I also feel vaguely guilty about telling anyone about it. There are so many people here, even in my small class, that have been beat up by their dioceses. I feel like I should just keep the news to myself to avoid hurting anyone's feelings. (hmmm, maybe that means blogging it wasn't such a great idea. Hmmm.)
Well, it is a bizarre experience so far, but at least I get to check another precious box on that huge 55 step project called Discernment for the Presbyterate.

Senioritis and Middler Meloncholy

I've been watching seniors drag boxes to their dorms / apartments to begin the packing process in anticipation of graduation. I hear them talking excitedly about next plans and graduation. Though I am very happy for them, it all leaves me somewhat sad. I will miss them all very much. I have been through enough graduations to know that "we will stay in touch" really is an empty phrase. It makes me sad to think that I only have one more year with my class. Being a small class of only 7 people means that I have grown close to all of them and I can't imagine life without them. Or at least, I am not allowing myself to think about life without them. It's a funny way to feel in spring. I always think of sadness as a winter (or late fall) feeling, not a spring feeling. Spring is flowers and sunshine and temperate weather, not clouds of impending separation.
I wish them all well in their individual futures, but I am really going to miss them very much.

Grumble, grumble

Maybe I'm an old curmudgeon, but it really bugs me when people chat through class, IM through class, shop online through class, and generally not pay attention. It bugs me because I really need to concentrate on what is going on. I paid a lot of money for these classes and I really need to pass them. If you are going to interfere with my learning process, don't be surprised if I get crabby about it. I also just don't understand paying all that money and then not paying attention in class. Lastly, it is really disrespectful to the professor to not pay attention. I mean, if you really don't care about the class and don't want to be there, then find some way to test out of it (or simply drop it). Don't be rude to the instructor and annoying to your classmates. Just hit the road. Believe it or not, some of us would really like to learn something! And some of us need all the help we can get! Paying attention to the instructor is the only hope we have. DON'T INTERFERE WITH THAT!
Arrgghh! (okay, it's out of my system---for now).