Good Friday Sermon - Part Two

Because I was carrying in the cross for the veneration of the cross part of the Good Friday liturgy, I was supposed to leave the pulpit after my sermon and go out to the sacristy, get the cross, and go to the back of the nave and wait for the end of the solemn collects. At Holy Comforter they use a lavelier mic instead of the mic that is on the pulpit. Normally, I turn the mic off after I sit down because the pockets on my cassock are further back than normal pants pockets and are hard to reach. As I entered the sacristy I reached back to turn off the mic, but I couldn't reach it. As I attempted to reach it I began to turn in a slow circle, much like a dog chasing its tail. During this frustrating reach for the off switch on the mic, I was desperately needing to cough, but didn't want to because the solemn collects were going on. I was beginning to panic about needing to cough and being unable to reach the mic when things got worse. I finally, out of frustration, just grabbed my cassock and pulled it all to the front in an attempt to reach the mic. In doing so I managed to cramp all the muscles in my right side (probably a side affect of having the flu). Now, not only did I have to cough, but I also felt like screaming in pain! At this point, the mic unit fell out of my pocket and down inside my cassock. This resulted in the actual mic, which was clipped to the front of my surplice, to pull the front of my surplice down. The more I leaned down to try to grab the mic unit, the further it fell out of reach. I finally unclipped the mic from my surplice, let the whole affair fall down the inside of my cassock, and stepped out of it. I just managed to turn it off and shut the sacristy door before falling on my knees in a coughing fit interspersed with painful groanings at the knots in the muscles of my side. At that moment one of the ushers walked into the sacristy and wanted to know just what I was doing.
I finally managed to get myself together, but I couldn't pick of the cross. Everytime I tried to lift it, my side would cramp up again. I finally just dragged the thing to the back of the nave and asked the usher to let me know when the end of the solemn collect occurred while I tried to stretch out my side enough to carry in the cross. As I stood there stretching and massaging my side (and practicing the line I was supposed to remember to say as I carried in the cross) I looked up to see the ushers and the back half of the congregation watching me with great curiosity.
At the appropriate time, the cross was brought in and appropriately venerated. I went home, took some more flu medications, and went back to bed for 12 hours.
Well, God was praised and Good Friday occurred. And it will be a liturgy that I will ALWAYS remember.